Finally, it dawned on me. And I think I owe this new found appreciation of life to my week away from reality. It was the meeting of new friends, and sparked love interests that carried my thoughts to the clouds this week. Now that I think back to the beginning of my trip, I wonder if the oddly turbulent plane ride to Florida was a sign of what was to come…. Like any of you, who have experienc
ed a bad flight, you understand the combination of mixed feelings. You question whether to be scared or to laugh; at times, you even laugh just to hide your fear. It was at this moment, that I now realize the purpose of my vacation. It wasn’t to enjoy friends and family, although, it surely added to the fun; but, it was the new characters I met that defined my agenda. And, most certainly consumed my thoughts.
Out at a club with my friends, I met a man. A rather, handsome man that introduced himself. The odd thing was that this man shares the same name as my brother and my father. An uncommon name at that, which made it all the more odd. Later throughout the evening, I meet a friend of this man. Instant attraction. Strangely enough, I saw through the haze of vodka, rum, and various other mixes of alcohol; to the attractiveness of this man. It was an instant spark of chemistry, and almost somewhat like a gravitational pull.
We exchanged numbers and that was that… or so I thought. We talked for hours it seemed, and our laughs and smiles continued throughout the early morning. Even upon waking up, the conversation started. We spent the next 3 days completely engulfed in each others presence.
I thought maybe, it was a bit of fate; seeing as how he was connected to me in so many ways. I later find out that he is rather close with some of my family… Moments like these I wonder- What the meaning or significance is of meeting people with some long line of connection, that would have never presented itself in any other scenario. It is fascinating how small the world really is.
What scares me the most, is that I felt like a giddy little child in a candy store. Ready to binge at moments chance. My stomach turned with butterflies that fluttered until the swarmed my heart. It was than that I let my guard down. For what, I will never know. But at that moment I saw a new light in my tunnel. It was a road that was never traveled, and one that I will be careful to travel again. Whether I am a silly girl for leaping at love blinding lust, or a girl that just fell head over heels at first glance, I’ll never know. All I know, is that I jumped, and I landed flat on my face. It hurts, not to hear from him, and hurts even more for losing myself in the moment.
At times like these I wonder: Will I dare jump again? How can I feel so deeply connected to someone that seems to have no similar feelings. What I have learned is; sometimes we are blinded by what we want to see; what we want to happen; and what we want to be real. Our emotions as humans and our instincts; all tell us to jump; leap with faith and hope that there will be someone to catch you. The lesson isn’t not jumping, it’s when to jump. Timing is everything, and this time I missed it.